Positive Girlfriends

This post is mostly for girls--but it's a good read for guys too, to understand and gain perspective on the opposite sex.

This weekend, I've been inspired by four of my girlfriends, all for different reasons and all because of different opportunities. And now I am inspired to share with you why girlfriends, for us chicas, are so important.

Five years ago, I would never have written this. Maybe not even three years ago, and most definitely not ten years ago.

Girls--we need girlfriends.

We need ladies who will uplift us, understand us, spread joy with us, experience pain with us, and who are real with us.

As ladies, we are emotional creatures. I think by nature we crave and desire closeness with other women, but we deny it, because we've had bad experiences (at least this is true for me).

I do want to talk about why us girls need other girls in our lives who are positive, uplifting influences. We need friends who will listen to us when we meet the guy of our dreams, or when he breaks our hearts, or when we succeed, when we fail, when we put our foot in our mouths, or when we get a promotion, a raise, lose those last 5 pounds, whatever!

Whatever time frame ago, I would have told you that:
"I get along better with guys"
"Men are less dramatic"
"Guys say what they mean and there's no backstabbing"
Etc, etc, ladies do you relate? Have you ever questioned why you need to have girlfriends?

I'm was once with you. But...we do. We need good girls in our lives. Not the backstabbing ones (and yes, they are out there), not the ones who create drama every single day (and there are those). But we need girls in our lives that will accept us, ask us good questions, listen to our answers, correct us when needed, and praise us even more when we do something right.

 Ladies, we are meant to live abundant lives. We are meant to have significance. We are meant to do great things.

Yes, you.

Sometimes we need mentorship/coaching/a helpful eye to help us move forward. Sometimes we need to be the one who lends those gifts to another. We need each other.

I just got off the phone with my best friend from college. I live in MD, she lives in PA. We see each other about once a year (and it takes effort). We have what we jokingly call a voicemail relationship. We leave each other voicemails at least every other week and it's rare that we actually catch each other on the phone. Today we did! She said she was going to call at random times, until we got on the phone. It worked! We talked for 18-minutes, catching up on life. Nothing dramatic, nothing outlandish, just life. I was uplifted just by talking with my friend who knows more about me than most, and still loves me (and vice versa).

Yesterday, I met two wonderful friends for lunch. We sat, talked, and ate for over two-and-a-half hours....it was wonderful. We talked about every part of life you could think of: dreams, goals, family, kids, the future, the present. They both asked me questions, and didn't judge the answers (and vice versa). We talked, and we accepted each other. I was struck at the end of our time together how precious this is. We all three comes from different backgrounds and have different life experiences, but we loved on each other and want the best for each other.  All of us need friends like this.

On Friday and Saturday, I got to spend time with my mentor and one of my best friends. On Friday night, we were waiting on some other people to show up at the house for a movie and so we decided to dye our hair (put 2 spontaneous chicks together and that's what happens!)

We had fun just living free and both dying our hair "raspberry creme." Our results turned out totally different (she's blond and I'm dark brunette). Let's just say one of us is burgundy and the other is bright bright red :-) We had so much fun just playing and watching each others hair get redder and redder as the night went on (and into the next day!) We laughed a lot.

The next day we had the privledge to get behind some closed doors to hear teaching from a life coach and entrepreneurial powerhouse, who has positively impacted us both, related to the business & life we both pursue (we are in the business of making people's lives better through opportunity).

My girlfriend has been married over 20 years and has 4 amazing kids. I'm single with no kids. Yet, we are kindred spirits. We have different circumstances, but our hearts and passions for people and the impact we can make are similar.

We both were impacted and experienced a level of peace that was specific to our circumstances and goals. My brothers were there too, and they were peacefully & positively impacted.

But, I was able to have an understanding with my coach and closest friend, because we understand each others heartbeat. Because we were there together, experiencing the same thing (with a different perspective) our relationship grows. Everytime. Sometimes you don't have to even speak about it. You can look at your closest friends and see their heart. It's beautiful; and women, trust me, we all need to experience it.

Friday we played and had fun. Saturday we seeked out information; found it and,  we experienced it together. Ladies, there's no greater journey than to lock arms with other women who believe in what you do, who seek the peace, understanding and knowledge that you do, and who want to move forward with you, through life--whether in joy or in pain.

Bottom line--girls--seek out other women who have similar goals to you--or who love you no matter how many successes you have or mistakes you make.  Find the real ones. Find other women who have a passion for making others lives better.

Girls, truly, we need each other.

In health & prosperity,
Monica

How to Use a Positive Mental Attitude to Overcome Medical Challenges (Guest Blogger!)

Anyone who saw the Robin Williams movie, "Patch Adams" knows that laughter really is a form of holistic medicine. In fact, this concept has been taken so far that in Israel there are now formal college programs for those who would work as "Medical Clowns". This tells us that a positive mental attitude is a strong tool towards healing. If you are facing any sort of medical (or emotional) challenges, it is a good idea to identify any tools or resources available to help you. For example, if you are going to find yourself confined to a hospital bed for any length of time, you may want to turn to technology to brighten a gloomy mood. There are now all kinds of apps that can be put to use and they can even allow you to interact with others who may be facing similar health issues or times of emotional turmoil.

The Power of Positivity

Before you let anyone "poo-poo" the idea that being positive is useful during medical problems, consider a study done by the Harvard School of Public Health beginning in 2001. In the study it was discovered that the patients with the most optimistic views about life were also those who decreased their risks of heart disease. Other studies also concluded that a positive attitude reduced the chances for heart disease in postmenopausal women as well. The evidence around the positive mental attitude just keeps piling up, and proves that the "Pollyannas" among us really do live longer lives and tend to develop much healthier relationships. In fact, it is viewed as enabling the individual to "be there" for people in their lives in a way that the true pessimists cannot.

Positive Mental Attitude Defined

Because so many people argue that a positive person has to be a bit delusional, let's see just what the experts consider a positive mental attitude.

• Glass half full - Yes, these are the folks who would answer that timeless question of "is the glass half empty or half full" with the positive perspective.  They do not note the absence but instead put an emphasis on the presence. In other words, someone with a positive mental attitude is one who can appreciate what they have and set aside worries and thoughts about what they do not have or cannot have.

• Faith - This is not the religious sort of faith (though there are many who truly believe that this too helps to overcome medical and emotional challenges), but is instead the faith in oneself to conquer challenges, no matter what might come along.

• Opportunists - That's right; the person with the truly positive mental attitude is also the person who sees each day as an opportunity rather than a challenge.

For example, someone who has suffered a stroke and is told that they must relearn balance can either view this as an excuse to stay "safely" seated in order to avoid any falls, or they can look at is as an opportunity to retake their lives.

All of the studies have proven, time and again, that a positive perspective is the one that can help a person with a medical challenge to recover faster and more completely. Interestingly enough, the studies also reveal that the optimist handles the inevitable too. In all of the studies done, the "end of life" issues were viewed with acceptance and comfort by those who had displayed positive attitudes all along. This means that no matter what life presents, the person with the positive mental attitude is going to be able to face it calmly and with a good outlook.

Valerie Johnston is a health and fitness writer located in East Texas. With ambitions of one day running a marathon, writing for Healthline.com ensures she keeps up-to-date on all of the latest health and fitness news.