My grandmother is close to 91, although she looks like she's closer to 80. She's been teaching me lately about laughter, and appreciation and keeping a positive mental attitude.
She loves every type of animal...I mean every type... from real ones to stuffed animals to statues of animals.
She loves people. She laughs all the time. She smiles and does this salute type of hand gesture, often when we pass other people.
When I ask her if she wants to pray, she often says "oh yes" and she immediately puts her hands together and bows her head.
She loves flowers and plants and the weather changes (me too!) As I take her on walks and rides in her wheelchair, she constantly says, "weeee!" as we flip around corners or I zig zag her through the hallways. She finds joy, when many find bitter.
Every time I go to see her, she puts on this surprised "oh my goodness" face that turns into a huge, gracious smile. Then I sit down next to her and wrap my arm around her, and she just leans in and rests on my shoulder. I rub her back and her arms and just be. Sometimes I pull up the skin on her hand, to watch it return to its position slowly. She still gives me the same look, that's impossible to describe, that she did 20 years ago, when we did that to her as kids. It's hilarious.
Somedays I wonder if she thinks I'm my mother when I come to visit. She always knows I'm someone important in her life, I mean, I am her oldest grandchild ;) ...but she doesn't ever call me by name. She sometimes gets confused by the family tree, and so I don't focus on that with her. Instead, I focus on giving her simple experiences, like taking her out to the garden at Riderwood, and watching the little ducklings grow from week to week or stopping and really taking in the beautiful colors of all the flowers. Oops...but I could do without animals, but watching her get excited about seeing the ducks, makes me want to see them too, just to watch her reaction.
She's been teaching me, not through words, but through attitude. She appreciates little things.
See, my grandmother has Alzheimer's, so to the best of our knowledge. As whatever it is has progressed, she doesn't remember names, or timelines, or sometimes even minute to minute.
At the assisted living center where she lives, I often take her out for a ride in her wheelchair. All of the apartments have ledges or glass shelving where the residents can put out whatever they want, often flowers/plants or figurines or pictures, etc. There is the one trio of singing cat figurines that she just loves. Every time we pass them, she says "oh isn't that cute." Every time. Once I asked her positively, "Grama, have you ever seen these before?" She said no, even though by that time, I'd taken her by them at least 10 times. I don't explain to her then she has seen it, I just let her find joy and laughter and laugh and smile with her. You have too.
Today I helped her change her shirt and put a necklace on. This chick would never leave the house without a necklace on! She gave me the biggest, most appreciative smile on the planet.
My Grama Loretta Miller was born a dreamer. Some of my favorite stories that she would tell of her childhood are just riveting. She grew up on a farm in Elk Point, South Dakota. As a kid, she would climb the ladder of the silo on their farm (for you urban folks, it's the tall cylinder type building on a farm and it's used to house grain!). It was the highest point she could get too, and she told me once, that she just wanted to see what was out there, to see how far she could see. And from what I've been told, her mischief often got her into trouble!
It may not be a surprise that when she turned 18, during WWII, she packed up and moved to SE Washington DC. Imagine a farm girl, in 1942 moving straight to the nations capital. Pretty impressive. She married my grandfather Jack, an Army-Air Force supply clerk and MP and they settled in Northern Virginia, where she lived in the same house for 50 years.
I know there were more dreamers in our family, but I just think about the bold move of a young girl, after being born into the Great Depression, moving halfway across the country to DC in 1942. What amazing courage!
I'm so thankful my Grama had a dream and I'm so thankful she's still teaching me about life even now, when her words don't often come out right. Let us all take more time to appreciate the small stuff, to smile at someone even if they don't smile back... On a side note, if you start smiling and saying hello to people you pass on the streets or hallways, you'll 1) improve your self image and 2) get to laugh more. This is too long to go into now, but the reactions you'll get from people is absolutely hilarious and worth stepping out of your comfort zone to experience.
Let's just appreciate more and keep the positive at the tip of our tongues and embedded in our DNA.
